Super Smash Homies
by Tacolover69
Summary: Logan Trick gets hired by the cast of The Nutshack, to make a completely new roster for Super Smash Brothers for Wii-U, watch as he gets characters from all over the Media World to come and live at the extravagant Smash Mansion! Inspired by GanondorfFan's "The Great Recrutment of SSBM Melee".


"HELP ME ISSEI... I MEAN TOMBO!" A busty redhead yelled as a possessed horse with a raging hard-on attempted to pin her down and have his way with her.

Tombo ran forward blindly swinging his sword, "Get away from my demonic soon-to-be fuck buddy!" The hormonal teenager then preceded to trip and almost impale himself.

Logan "Da Wigga" Trick who was holding a ginormous fish bowl, just looked on in confusion at the whole situation. "Remind me how this whole quest got started again?" He asked no one in particular.

"KARP KARP KARP KARP." A fish said as it splashed around the fish bowl Logan was holding.

A mysterious blonde girl broke the 4th wall by looking directly towards the text on your computer screen and laughing, "If you're wondering what the the fish is saying, he said all 'character's including OCs and characters from official media such as cartoons and video games and so on all belong to Logan Trick, if anything the so called original creators stole them from him!' So if you didn't know, now you know."

"Can we just get the backstory rolling so you all can focus on saving me?" The redhead asked as she continued trying to fight back the horse that was pinning her down.

"Sounds good." Logan said as he proceeded to reminisce.

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Chapter 1: A most unusual quest from the Nutshack

Phil Matibag and Tito Dickman where currently sitting on the couch playing Super Smash Brothers for Wii-U as they did everyday, Phil was playing as Jigglypuff and Tito was playing as Ganondorf.

Ganondorf was currently at 187% damage while Jigglypuff was at a whopping 205%.

Phil got his game face on as he made Jigglypuff prepare to use Rollout. "You better protect your nuts old man, because I'm about to break them!" Phil laughed as he let Jigglypuff roll forward, but he didn't realize that as he was focusing on Jigglypuff, Tito was preparing Ganondorf's Volcano Kick.

Tito laughed as just before Jigglypuff could knock him off the screen Ganondorf's leg slammed down, knocking the little pink testicle off into the sky.

"The winner is... GANONDORF!" The announcer yelled as Ganondorf struck a pose.

"You know..." Phil threw his controller, "This game sucks, it's no fun anymore."

"It took you this long to realize that Phil?" Tito sighed.

At that moment Horat walked through the front door, "What it needs is some new dank characters."

"Yeah." The Dickman responded, "Sounds like we should call up that master all of things dank, memes included, Logan Trick!"

0000(3 hours later)0000

"Hello all." Logan said as he walked through the front door, "What did y'all call me up for?"

"We need you to go to the Media World and get new characters to fill up Super Smash Brothers for Wii-U's roster with." Phil said as he picked boogers and flung them so they stuck on the ceiling.

Logan scratched his head, "Two questions, which one do you want first?"

Tito scratched his chin, "The second one I guess."

"When I find new characters where do I take them?"

"You know that retardedly stupid Smash Mansion that everyone writes fanfictions about?" Phil asked.

"Haven't read any of those fanfictions, but I've heard of it." Logan responded.

Phil pulled out a picture of said mansion, "It's actually a real place, and anyone who lives there, be it fighter or non-playable boss character like Master Hand or Crazy Hand becomes a part of the game, so we want you to go kick everybody out and create a whole new roster."

"AND..." Tito added, "We want you to be the caretaker of said mansion until your recruitment quest is done."

"So, next question, how do I travel to the Media World?" Logan said as he continued looking in awe at the picture of the prestigious Smash Mansion.

Jack walked out of his room with a new invention, "You use this magic button and it will send you to the Media World." He handed Logan the button before walking back into his room, ready to masturbate to some Asian porn.

Logan looked over the big red button with the words "DO NOT PRESS" written in huge lettering, "I just though of a few more ques..."

"TOO LATE!" Phil said as he hit the button.

00000000

The brawlers where having a good fucking time sitting at the huge table in the huge dining room drinking huge amounts of tea and eating huge amounts of scones. Everyone except Master Hand, Crazy Hand, and Master Core that is, Since the two hands lacked mouths they just floated there holding their tiny teacups like snobby British people, and Master Core just sorta floated there like he had nothing better to do.

"I'm'a liking my treat!" Mario said enthusiastically.

"Let us have many more good treats just like it!" Marth said as he held his sword to the sky.

"Yes!" Everyone shouted in unison, when suddenly a huge portal opened above the table.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Logan yelled as he fell out of the portal which then closed, onto the table, and went rolling causing many plates and cups to fall to the floor and shatter.

"Hey, that like asshole just ruined our feast!" Bowser spit fire, literally. "LET'S GET EM!"

Both Samus and Zero Suit Samus began firing blasters at Logan who rolled off the side of the table and hid behind a chair.

"Glad you rolled our way, now _we_ can have a chance at beating you, isn't that right Shiek?" Asked Zelda.

"Yeah!" Shiek responded, "Which is funny because I'm talking to myself."

Logan threw his hands out to both of his sides, "WAIT EVERYBODY, I GOT A MESSAGE FOR YOU ALL!"

Mr. Nigga... Game & Watch walked over, preparing his bell for battle, "What BEEP could BEEP you BEEP have BEEP to BEEp say BEEEEEP to BEEEP us MOTHERFUCKING BEEP you BEEEP homewrecker?"

Logan scratched his head, "I don't know how to say this, but because of an order from characters from the show The Nutshack, you are all being evicted."

"Fine, let us decide if this is true or not, by having a most noble battle." Ryu said.

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Suddenly everyone got sent to the Miiverse stage, "Logan...VERSUS...EVERYONE!" The announcer yelled. then he began to count down, "3...2...1..FIGHT!" The announcer announced.

Mewtwo took a minute to look back at the Miiverse posts that where flying around behind them, "What kind of people are playing our game?!" Mewtwo exclaimed seeing that 95% percent of the posts where racist slurs and the other 5% was yaoi fan art.

Suddenly as everyone got ready to make a mad dash at our M.C. a smash ball flew above him, he punched it and suddenly his final smash activated and he got a broom. "Get ready to eat shit honkies!" He yelled as he ran around hitting his frozen opponents over the head with his cleaning tool.

"WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" Everyone except Logan yelled as they flew off the stage.

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Logan was the sole soul that got sent back to the mansion. "I guess this place belongs to me now." He realized though that the mansion was now 10x smaller, the only thing that was left was about six or seven empty bedrooms, and they all had magical locks over them. "What do I do about these locks?" Logan asked himself, "And more importantly, nobody explained to me, how do I go about recruiting people?"

NEXT TIME: Starting From the Bottom of the Barrel? Aquatic Trouble!

* * *

This is the pilot for my new series, Supah Smash Niggas. Hope you like it and stick around. Feel free to review.


End file.
